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The secret to surviving motherhood

posted in: Motherhood | 0

So you’re here…motherhood. Not quite what you expected?

Regardless of your journey thus far, regardless of how many books you’ve read, questions you’ve googled or how many people have given you advice, nothing can truly prepare you for the unpredictability of motherhood.

You’ll spend your entire journey second guessing yourself, wondering ‘what if’ or living in a fog trying to discover the “right way”.

Well, now on my third postpartum journey and obviously some what of an authority on the subject (cough, cough), I’ve finally discovered the secret to surviving motherhood.

It’s simple really.

Motherhood requires three little words…

Let. It. Go.

That’s it.

Let go of expectation, let go of the pressure, let go of the mama guilt, let go of the idea that you should know it all.

Trust me, this is not a defeatist attitude, this is simply acknowledging that the journey of motherhood is exactly that, a journey. That you’re not meant to already know it all. There’s no “maternal instinct” that suddenly gives you all the right answers. You are learning on the job.

“Motherhood is a choice you make everyday, to put someone else’s happiness and well-being ahead of your own, to teach the hard lessons, to do the right thing even when you’re not sure what the right thing is…and to forgive yourself, over and over again, for doing everything wrong.” ~ Donna Ball

So allow yourself to learn, to make mistakes, to laugh, to forgive yourself and to try again.

Let go of the pressure you place on yourself…did you honestly think you were actually going to have the perfect child who followed all the statistics?

Let go of expectations, either the ones you place on yourself or that others place on you. Advice is great, but it’s just that ~ advice. So, take it with a grain of salt…plus a wedge of lime and a shot of tequila if that helps. Just take it for what it is ~ someone’s else’s well-meaning but unproven suggestion.

Let go of the past and look to the future. Your lifestyle, your body, even your relationships are never going to be the same again (cue the dramatic music) But that doesn’t mean they’re not good, just different. Embrace that and look forward. You’ll never truly be happy if you’re always looking over your shoulder.

Yes, that includes that gorgeous mama body you now have. Firstly, pause and appreciate all that you’ve gone through and what your body has achieved. Secondly, don’t be in a rush. I am right now lapping up the couch time, cuddles, burps, baby moments…and chocolate cake. The treadmill will come later 😉 Thirdly, love your body for what it is now, not what it used to be.

Let go of control and learn to go with the flow. This doesn’t mean throwing your hands up, admitting defeat and giving up. This simply means acknowledging that life will be unpredictable day to day and just when you think you’ve got it sorted it’ll change again. So, let go of the rigidity and be flexible. And scream and cry when the situation calls for it.

You realise this is all training for the fact that one day (which seems so far away now but trust my mother, it will be here before you know it) you’ll have to let them go too.

That’s right, we nurture and protect, raise and worry, get them through the toughest years of our life and then they leave us…to live their own lives.

I tend to trust my mother, it will go all too quickly, so I’m trying to be in the moment as much as I can. The good, the bad, the funny, the downright ridiculous…all of it.

So let go of what you thought mamahood should be and allow yourself to experience what it is. 

 

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